I am 38, divorced for two years, no kids, and would like kids still. Having recently moved to a new city, I’m making new friends and having a great time. I have a stable job, hobbies, and I’m meeting a lot of genuine and fun people. Here’s my question: I’m ready to date again, with the purpose of a long-term relationship with a man who would also like a family. There needs to be chemistry and compatibility. How open should I be about my age and the fact that I would like to be a parent? I feel like if that’s my intention for dating then being open about wanting a family (instead of hiding it, for fear of seeming desperate when I’m not) will only help me find someone who wants the same.

However, even though I’m not desperate (if I were, I’d be in a relationship now with a number of men who aren’t compatible but want kids), people will assume things based on my age. I can’t help that. So when is it a good time to bring it up? How would you (and readers) approach this in a way that show men that it matters, but that they’re not just being seen as a baby donor?

– Aware of clock but not frazzled