He Said He Was Thinking About His Ex

Thursday | June 16, 2016

Love Letters Dating

He Said He Was Thinking About His Ex

I met this guy on a dating site. I had a crush on him on the spot on our first date. Somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd date, he removed his profile from the site where we met, so I did too. When I asked why he removed his profile, he said he interested in seeing me only.

We dated for about five to six weeks, and I fell for him. Then I began to feel his absence. He was not as responsive and started ignoring my messages. When I told him I was concerned about our relationship, he said he was confused. He said he didn’t know what to do with such a “perfect person” like me because he is still thinking about his ex. He said it’s not fair to me.

We stopped talking after that conversation. After about three weeks, I saw that his online dating profile was active again. How should I interpret the reason he dumped me? Was the still-have-feelings-for-the-ex excuse a strategy for exit? Is he really just emotionally unavailable and wants to casually date people without any commitment?

– What went wrong

Maybe he realized he wasn’t excited enough about the new relationship. Maybe he was telling the truth, and his ex was always on his mind. Really, I don’t know what’s going on in his head – but I know it doesn’t matter. He’s gone, so there’s no reason to spend your time obsessing over his next move.

I know you believe that understanding the cause of the breakup will ease the loss, but more information often leads to more questions. This was a short romance, so there’s not much you need to know. After the first month or so of dating, your big question should be: Do we both want to stick around? In this case, the answer was no. That means you move on.

Hide his profile on that site and begin looking at others.

– Meredith

Readers? What does she need to know about the breakup?

Dating

Featured Comment

u0022He wasn’t into you. He was probably thinking about his ex and realized that if you were someone he was really into, he wouldn’t be thinking about her.nnBe grateful he was honest and didn’t lead you on.nnFind someone else.u0022 — MMNNEE

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