Our relationship is limited to emails and ‘cybersex’
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Q.
I met a woman on a dating app about a year and a half ago. We have been keeping in touch with each other steadily ever since. We live a few states away from each other, but her job has kept her away for a year now. We have, I guess what you call it, is Cybersex. She introduced it to me.
We are both the same age (70). She has never asked me for anything, but sometimes I send her a little gift – birthday, Christmas, and sometimes out of the blue. I don’t spend much, $20 or so. I feel like I have developed some feelings for her and I think she has some for me.
I’ve never spoken with her, but I have her address. I guess I’m trying to figure out what to do. A couple of times I’ve expressed my feelings for her but she wants to keep it to emails.
I’ve tried to break it off … but then I don’t want to. She seems to allow me back with her. I get subtle signs from her about how she feels but can’t figure it out.
– Stuck in the Mud
A.
This is the best it’s going to get. Your relationship has maxed out at emails, cybersex, and mild interest from very far away.
You want more, so it’s time to say “it’s over.”
“Subtle signs” would be a great album title, but it’s not an effective communication style in a complicated relationship. Enough with hints and reading into moods. All you know for sure us that she “wants to keep it to emails.”
You’ve figured all of this out already, right? I think you’re asking whether there’s anything you’re missing. There’s not.
Spend your money on people who show up in person. Get on an app and ask someone out on a date. Explain to your cyber friend that you’re looking for a different kind of companionship.
Also, $20 here and there becomes a few hundred pretty quickly. It doesn’t sound like there’s reciprocation there either.
– Meredith
Readers? We’ve heard from a few people who’ve fallen into long relationships where there’s no meeting in person. After investing so much time, how do you break free and walk away from the hope you’ve clung to for so long?
Be civil. Be kind.
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