‘Is It OK To Rifle Through Old Inventory?’

Thursday | June 4, 2020

Love Letters Dating

‘Is It OK To Rifle Through Old Inventory?’

Send your letters to [email protected]. Chat at 1.

Hi Meredith,

I will be the first to admit that I have some sort of fear of commitment. I was let down a few times in my 20s, and I think I take it out on all women. Before, I was always a commit-to-one-girl type of guy, but I never made the right choice when picking one person over another, and I ended up kicking myself later on.

Now with this pandemic, I’ve never felt so lonely. It’s forced me to do a lot of thinking. Just about all of my friends are married or about to be, or they’re settled down. I just entered my early 30s and I don’t envy their lives. I still love having fun and doing what I want, whenever I want, but I’d also like to start a family before it’s too late. I’m very picky and hate forcing things, but I know I’ve let some great ones pass without giving them a shot.

It’s going to be harder to meet new people moving forward with this virus. Do you think it’s OK to rifle through old inventory? I know it’s best to act on the sparks at the time, but I really wonder about one woman in particular. Most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve never felt that fire. The only problem was she was the cousin of my cousin’s wife. I always thought it was weird. Therefore, I didn’t take it seriously. I thought it was just a naughty fun fling, but it turns out it was more than that. I was just too blind to see it at the time because I was drowning myself with Bud and Jameson every night.

She’s now engaged, and it breaks my heart. They have a venue. What I’ve heard through inside information: it really seems like she’s not completely sure of this guy. Do I make my move now, or do I re-enact a scene from “The Graduate”/”Wayne’s World”/”Wedding Crashers”?

– Harping on everything

“Rifle through old inventory.” What a way to say it.

If you live around Boston – and some very specific details I cut from your letter tell me you do – it’s very possible that every woman you know is the cousin of your cousin’s wife or some equivalent of that. Don’t let the whole six-degrees-of-separation thing stop you from getting to know someone nice.

Still, you must not reach out to this engaged ex-fling because she has already picked a wedding venue. Yes, during these times we all feel more entitled to seize the day, but let’s do it wisely. If you’re going to call a person from your past, make it someone single. Something tells me you’ve chosen this woman because she’s unavailable. It’s better to think about who you went out with but never really got to know.

Also know that if you don’t envy the lives of your friends, don’t try to mimic them. You want a family, but you can make that happen at some point with someone who shares your priorities now. When it’s safe, you can find a partner who loves going out, doing what they want … it’s not all or nothing.

Instead of dwelling on missed opportunities, think about what you’ll do when it’s safe to socialize. Make lists. Scroll through dating apps to remind yourself there are people out there waiting to jump back in the pool.

If this woman ends her engagement on her own, you’ll hear about it. But she hasn’t. No “Wayne’s World” scene for you.

– Meredith

Readers? Have you reached out to people you used to know? Have you been contacted by people who never gave it a real shot before?

COVID and Relationships Dating Alcohol Fear Of Missing Out Dating fatigue

Featured Comment

Boy you need a check-up from the neck up. Old inventory? C’mon dude even I think that is degrading. This whole letter is about the things that you want. I suggest you work on things you have to offer. I suspect there isn’t much there and that is your problem.

Bzznlike-crazyman Share Thoughts