Dear Meredith and LL,

A year ago, I broke up with my first serious boyfriend. At the time he was being invited on family trips and was accepted into my family with open arms. They bought him gifts and always offered to help him out. I’m in my mid-20s and didn’t really have the foresight to recognize how seriously my family would take an introduction of my significant other. They got along fine, but, to me, it never felt like he was really part of the family, and it made me uncomfortable that they showed so much affection toward him. This was slightly relevant to our breakup. I learned that when my parents meet a significant other, they honestly believe they’re meeting a life partner. My ex was most definitely not a life partner.

Six months after breaking up with him, I met a great guy. He’s by far the best guy I’ve ever dated: funny, smart, loving, passionate, responsible, someone who really treasures his close relationships and shows affection. Yet he’s not like my family in certain ways (he’s a little more forthright, a little less stereotypically masculine, all of which I like). Remembering my own discomfort whenever I used to have my ex around my parents, though, I don’t want him to meet my family. We’ve been together for about six months now. I’d like them to meet some day, but really can’t say when. We spend about six out of seven days of the week together, he’s truly my best friend, and we talk about how we might spend the next five years together.

However, if I can put off introducing him to mom and dad, I want to. The problem is that he’s becoming suspicious about why I haven’t introduced him yet. His mom visited from thousands of miles away and met me (his family is much more casual about meeting significant others), yet my parents live less than an hour away and still haven’t met him. He brings it up occasionally, to which I give some lame excuse.

My question is: should I grit my teeth and introduce him anyway? Should I have an honest conversation with him about why I’m holding back? I have a feeling that my reticence is not a bad sign for the relationship, but I’m worried that he is going to think it is. My family, respectfully, doesn’t inquire.

– Am I Holding Back, Brighton