Hi Meredith (and community),

My husband and I lived abroad (in his country, where we met) for many years before moving to the US. We were not married until we came back to the US, but made the decision to marry before moving. We were very happy in his country but the economy wasn’t great and our jobs weren’t stable. We figured between that and the fact that he had never lived in my country, it was time to spend some time with my family over here. The problem is that while we wait for his paperwork to be processed (he is not yet able to work), he is just kind of sitting at home, waiting for me while I go to work. We are also living with my parents to keep costs down until he is able to work.

He is still getting used to the culture and language and is generally positive, but I just feel so bad when he has bad days. His bad days are caused by feelings of loneliness, homesickness, and not having friends/activities to be a part of. I understand him completely – when I first moved to his country, I felt the same way. However, as much as I try to make him feel better, there is only so much of a void that one person can fill. He has joined a few weekly activities that he enjoys, but they are only once or twice a week. Otherwise, he really only has me to rely on.

A small byproduct of this predicament is that I am feeling like I have no time to myself because whenever I am home, I am trying to make sure he is comfortable. I am grateful that he moved his life to my country to meet my family and get to know my lifestyle, but then I miss MY alone time and end up feeling selfish for it. Do you (or any readers) have suggestions about how to make a guy feel more happy in a foreign country, with a new wife, living with her family? My Mon-Fri work schedule makes it difficult for us to do much during the week but I try to keep our weekends fun and full of activities. I guess I’m trying to find ways for him to feel less out of place and start to warm up to his new life in the States.

– New Life