If months have passed and the dad hasn’t brought it up, let it go. If it’s been weeks (or more), and you haven’t seen him since that awkward moment, wait until you’re together again and decide if it’s still weird.

If it is, you can always say, “Hey, this is mortifying to bring up, but sorry for the display that night; I forgot I wasn’t in my own home.” Try whatever casual comment feels right. Even, “I’m so embarrassed, by the way,” will do.

I won’t lecture you about your behavior in her parents’ home. Sometimes intimacy happens, and sometimes we must remove our clothes.

This reminds me: I have a recurring shame-spiral memory of being a kid, sleeping over a friend’s house, going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, getting confused about where I was, walking back to what I thought was my friend’s room, and instead, getting into bed with … her parents.

Based on their reaction, I might have been interrupting something. Or not. They scrambled around the bed and asked, “What are you doing here?” I was so embarrassed – and half-asleep – and my answer was to run out of the room, across the house, until I found my way back to the right place.

Something tells me those parents were thinking, “Oh no, do we have to talk to this random kid about what happened because it’s sooo awkward and weird?” But they never brought it up. Probably because the next morning I pretended like nothing had happened. They seemed so relieved.

That’s why you have to read the room with the dad. He might prefer you never mention it. 

Follow his lead and it might make the marriage conversation that much easier.

– Meredith