My Girlfriend Misses Her Late Husband

Monday | March 14, 2016

Love Letters Dating

My Girlfriend Misses Her Late Husband

I am in a relationship with a woman I love very much. She tells me she loves me too. However, she lost her husband/soul mate some years ago and deeply misses him. It is an odd situation – feeling so much love for her knowing and understanding that she would much rather be with the one she lost.

I know time is supposed to heal everything, but I believe this will never change. Sometimes I feel I’m just convenient for her as she moves on with her life. This gives me a feeling of emptiness at times, which is bothersome. She is truly a wonderful person and I cannot see a future without her, but will I ever really become her love?

– Remain Convenient

Time does not heal all wounds. That saying has never made much sense to me.

Time does make it easier to move on to new experiences. This woman is capable of being with someone other than her husband. She is capable of falling for you.

If she’s always talking about her husband or seems to be in a constant state of grief, you might ask her whether she’s seeking the help she needs. She shouldn’t be overcome with sadness all of the time, especially when she’s enjoying your company.

But if this is just about you feeling like she’d rather be with him, please put that out of your mind. You don’t have to become her one and only love. If you’re the man she wants to be with now, that’s pretty important, too.

– Meredith

Readers? How much should this woman be bringing up her late husband? Will the letter writer ever mean as much to her?

Dating

Featured Comment

She is always going to love her late husband, that will never change. She loves you in the present. I think it’s normal for relationships to stir up all kinds of emotions – hers are obviously complicated. Have you considered that perhaps she never thought she would love someone as much again, until she met you? She is with you for a reason. I would give her time to process it all and remain supportive. If after a period of time she is still grieving and not refocused on your relationship, you may need to reconsider things and give her time and space to heal. Grieving is so personal, LW. There’s no roadmap. Best of luck.

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