My best friend confessed feelings

Wednesday | August 14, 2024

Love Letters Dating

My best friend confessed feelings

What’s been on your mind about your dating/relationship life? Ask your own question. Get it off your chest (it feels good). Use the anonymous form or email [email protected].

My best friend confessed his feelings for me, even though I’ve been in a relationship of three years. I’m happy in my relationship and would not want to give it up.

That said, my partner is asexual and sometimes it’s really hard to live with that – but everything else is perfect.

I had a really bad emotional reaction to the confession of my best friend. Now I’m really nervous and unsure of what I want. It’s hard to know whether my feelings for him are about attraction or sympathy.

It’s really too much for my head at the moment, and I feel as if I’m too overwhelmed with the situation.

– Anonymous

I can’t read your mind, but based on your short letter, it doesn’t sound like you’ve been harboring feelings for this best friend.

There’s been no secret crush on your side, right? When you received this information, you felt … dread? Anxiety? (Add some words here. It might help.)

Actually, let’s lean into that idea and try some bespoke Mad Libs. Fill in the blanks, please.

“I love my best friend because he is ___, ___, and ___. If a wonderful person wanted to date him, I’d tell them ___. When my best friend told me he had feelings for me, my first thought was ___. If I was single, I would call my friend and ask them to ___. In 20 years, I hope my best friend and I are ___ doing ___.”

That’s Mad Libs therapy. Sometimes the story tells itself. (Don’t sue me, Mad Libs.)

I assume you’ll read it back and realize that no matter what, this isn’t what you want now. You’re allowed to tell your friend you’re not into the idea. You can ask about next steps for preserving the friendship – or giving him space to reset. Be kind and empathetic. (Empathy, not sympathy. Big difference sometimes.)

Then look at your own relationship. If you want to open it, that’s great – assuming your partner is on board, of course. Worth mentioning: I’m not sure the easiest way to try being open is to involve a very best friend with big feelings for you.

Maybe there’s a way to start smaller.

– Meredith

Readers? Does the tone of the letter suggest … reciprocated feelings? What about the current relationship and opening it up?

Ask your own question. Use the anonymous form or email [email protected].

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Featured Comment

If you’re not interested in your friend, you apologize for your initial reaction and kindly let them know that you want to maintain your friendship. I think the letter you should have been writing is about if you are happy in your relationship. You don’t provide a lot of details but if your partner is asexual and you’re not, that’s a pretty big compromise.

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