Moved To The Beach, Met A Man

Tuesday | August 8, 2023

Love Letters Dating

Moved To The Beach, Met A Man

Today’s the day to write to me. What are your love, dating, relationship, and single-life questions? Submit your question here. You can also email [email protected].

I moved to a beach area back in 2020 after the pandemic started because I love the beach. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend/relationship at all. I found a job and started working as a part-time server (I should say: I’m a retired 58-year-old lady). The job was at a local restaurant, and I was there for about two years.

Within the first four months, the assistant manager (62) was flirting with me. I flirted back because I really liked him. Finally, he asked me to go on a cruise with him, and I did. Then, seven cruises later, I saw a picture of a young girl (a relative?) on his phone. I asked who it was and he said it was none of my business.

I immediately got upset and left. Eventually I moved back to where I’m from, not too far away (North Carolina). He kept in touch a little and eventually came to North Carolina, and we spent time together. He invited me on another cruise, and I went.

I just can’t understand what we are to each other. Since I moved, we’ve seen each other every few months. During one visit, he met my sisters and was great to them, treating us all to a night out. I love him, but I don’t know if he’s just playing me and where this is going.

– Can’t Understand

Is he playing you? I don’t know.

Is he capable of giving you the kind of relationship you want? Probably not, based on what you told us in your letter. You might not be looking for a serious partnership, but you don’t to be with someone who’s a giant mystery.

This man shows up, is good company, then goes back to the beach. Not a bad situation, but you only get to know so much about his life. That doesn’t seem to be enough for you. The cruises sound fun, but then what?

You can ask him what you want to know – why he wouldn’t talk about the person on his phone, whether you’re exclusive (that would be good helpful information, right?), and how he feels about you, in general. If he doesn’t want to be transparent about any of it, you can feel better about letting go. If he has something to say, well, listen. It still might not be enough.

It sounds like you want to be with someone who doesn’t keep big secrets. Even if the relationship isn’t serious, it should be honest. Your love is best spent on someone who wants to answer your questions.

– Meredith

Readers? What should the LW ask? Does everything have to be the LW’s business? Have you ever been with someone for a long time without knowing much about them?

Dating Distance DTR (Defining the Relationship)