I met my current girlfriend “Suzanne” at work about nine years ago. (For the record, I am also female.) We have been exclusive for about four years, but before that she maintained a home and relationship with her now ex. Yes, this was awful and a bad choice on all accounts. While she was still with the ex, she was always telling me how much she loved and missed me, and how she wished she could leave her situation so that we could be together. I never understood why she felt she couldn’t leave, but that’s not really relevant anymore.

Eventually, I reconnected with someone I knew years ago, and although nothing physical ever happened between us, I very drawn to her emotionally, and I told Suzanne that I wanted to be with the other woman. Well, what do you know, Suzanne decided then that she was ready to leave the ex. Fast forward to now, and I am so damn sad all the time. She constantly wants me around, but when I am around, she’s buried in her phone (she has her own business) or watching TV. She doesn’t look at me, talk to me, or touch me. I feel like I am missing out on everything life has to offer. Honestly I cannot remember the last time she said something nice to me. She criticizes me all the time, like one thing after another, and totally takes me for granted. It is a horrible feeling. She won’t bring me around her family for the holidays because she’s “embarrassed” about the way she left the ex and her behavior in that relationship. I have practically begged her to go to therapy, but she is just very closed off to the whole thing. I know I probably need to separate myself, but how? I feel invested in her, but it is more obvious every day that she is not invested in me. My heart is shattered. It is also worth noting that she is about 15 years older than me.

– Shattered