Messaging with a reality star

Wednesday | October 30, 2024

Love Letters Dating

Messaging with a reality star

About a week ago I was scrolling through TikTok and I made a bit of a sassy comment on a guy’s post. I didn’t think much of it and didn’t know who he was. After, I saw that he looked at my profile and sent a very generic “hello.”

I said “hey” back and we started talking on the app. A day or so later he asked for my number, and when I googled him he has been on reality TV and has a huge amount of followers. I figured he’s legit so I gave him my number.

We have been chatting since and he’s very polite and sweet. He’s shared some personal details and seems genuinely interested in getting to know me. I’m 10 years older and I have two young kids and I live in New England. He lives in the middle of the country. He also really seems to be looking for a long-term partner or a wife. I would never move to him – I have kids and he’s attached to his family business. It seems early and premature to say there is no future when we just started talking, but it also feels a bit disingenuous to continue.

– Lost in the Distance

It sounds like he’s been a good distraction, but maybe the relationship has run its course.

Both of you plan to stay put in your respective locations. You have kids. He’s not a great option for romance.

You can tell him that you need to focus your energy on family and what’s in front of you. Hopefully that will make perfect sense to him. I’m sure he has other avenues for attention … lots of followers out there.

Maybe you’ll be able to turn into occasional pen pals, sending a note or meme when it makes sense – as friends. Or not. Don’t pressure yourself to keep this going.

Whatever you do, don’t give him any money. There, I said it.

I don’t mean to suggest you’re getting scammed or that this whole thing hasn’t been genuine, but … you’ve never met in person. You don’t know who runs this person’s account. There will never be any reason for you to give him personal information or financial assistance. Just … don’t.

It’s not too early to let this go. It seems like just the right time.

– Meredith

Readers? Does this LW have to say that she wants to end the back-and-forth? Can she just … stop communicating? Or is it better to put closure on it?

Send your own question! Are you messaging with someone on TikTok (or elsewhere) … or wishing you could? Or having issues with a marriage, courtship, friendships, dating fatigue, etc.? Send your letter to the anonymous form or email [email protected].

Dating Distance

Featured Comment

I don’t think every relationship needs to end in moving and being life partners. There is also dating to have fun, enjoy life and understand yourself and others better. … Now if you’re on a mission to find your next long term partner who lives close to you; then just bow out of this; but I don’t see the harm in just having fun conversation with no commitment.

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