I’m a man in my late 20s and met someone 10 years older last year. At first I didn’t think much of it because we met on an app. We began to hang out more and more, but she was still living with her cheating husband at the time. She ended up moving out last fall. Her ex has moved out of state, but she has not filed for divorce yet. I truly love her, and we get along well and enjoy the same things, but I just have a gut feeling that she isn’t that interested.

I’ve met her closest friends (she lives with a few of them now) and we hang “regularly,” as in 2-3 times per week. But ever since she moved in with friends, she barely tries to see me, and only at her convenience. I will admit I am a very needy person; I have learned that the hard way in the past. She is a very independent person, which I admire.

But at what point is there a compromise? I’m not asking to go out and party on a weeknight, but even just cook dinner and hang out? Also, I get bothered that she still hangs with an ex who lives in town, but she claims “he’s like a big brother to me.”

Should I be bothered by her actions or am I overreacting? I respect space and time alone (being an introvert myself), but she’s a social butterfly. What’s keeping her with me at her age? Why do I have a nagging feeling that I’ve just become some long-term boy toy? I understand she is going through a lot, and I respect that, but at what point do I throw in the towel because she just doesn’t seem to care?

– TheConfusedGuy