Meredith,

I have been dating a man exclusively for eight months. We met and just – boom – it was what we had both been waiting for, and we fell in love right away. He broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. He is very attentive, sweet, and we spend time together every week.

But … I’m freaking out. Let me be clear – I am NOT snooping on his cell phone. He leaves it out right in front of me, and the text conversations with his ex are right there. When he left her for me, he said she was devastated. He showed me the texts from their breakup, and in the texts he tells her he loves me. She was pretty gracious, I must admit. She said that she loved him and his daughter, and wished him well. She asked him to “give her time to heal,” and I kind of liked her right then. She was so honest in the face of what was happening to her.

Fast forward eight months and I see that he checks in on her, asks how she’s doing, etc. There are texts from two weeks ago where he said he missed her and missed talking to her. She said that maybe they could talk, just as friends, and that she wanted to see his daughter. He said he could not see her, as it would be potentially bad for his new relationship. I noticed last week – a night he was out without me – that he texted her very late at night, asking what she was doing.

What the heck is he doing? She asked for “time,” and he keeps texting her. She says she’s fine and he “checks in.” I know they haven’t been together but this seems very odd.

– Checking In