How Do We Keep Up The (remote) Dating Momentum?

Wednesday | January 20, 2021

Love Letters Dating

How Do We Keep Up The (remote) Dating Momentum?

Do you have a lingering question about your love life? Are you coupled or single and wondering what’s next, post-vaccine? Send your questions to [email protected] or fill out this form. Let us ponder our futures together. Also, we’re collecting stories for Season 5 of the podcast. The whole season will be about starting over. Do you have a story about a time that you did a big re-start in your romantic life – even if you rebooted an existing relationship? Send an email to [email protected] with “Season 5” in the subject line and tell me about it.

Hi Meredith,

I have a basically unsolvable problem. Right before Thanksgiving, I met a guy on a dating app. We chatted and finally decided it would be nice to meet, outdoors, of course. It went great, but unfortunately he was leaving for a month and a half to visit his parents.

We texted, talked on the phone, had Netflix parties, etc., throughout his time away. Now he is back and I’m not sure how to handle hanging out in person … but I really want to see him!

I live with my sister, he lives with a roommate. Obviously both of us have our circle of people we are comfortable seeing, but seeing each other widens both of our comfort zones.

I am writing to ask if you or anyone has any tips for how to navigate my situation. I’d really like to get to know him better in person, which would involve more than just going for walks, since we really hit it off even through the time and distance, but want to keep myself and my sister safe as well. What am I supposed to do?! Move in with him right now? Kidding….sort of.

Thank you!

– Committing in COVID

I’m working on a story right now about people who started dating during COVID, and a lot of these couples got very serious within a few months (or weeks) because that’s what it took to be together. By serious, I mean bubbled. In a pod. They decided to choose each other – moving in or taking a long trip to a rental, if affordable – just to see if they could get along.

But I’m not sure you’re there yet with this person. You’re at the start of the process of getting to know him. That’s why I must suggest waiting.

We’re finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with vaccines. Closeness is coming. You can keep doing Netflix parties and walks (cold ones, if you live near me). You can revisit next steps in another month if the relationship feels like it’s growing.

At that point, yes, maybe you’ll want to try bunking with him after a test. Or maybe the four of you (sister, roommate) can talk about what works.

For now, ask him if he has any ideas. If he wants to stay remote, that’s the answer. This is not a time to push anyone – including your sister or someone else’s roommate – outside of a comfort zone. January is almost over. I know it’s difficult, but it’s possible to keep the momentum going until the right time. What else is there to do?

– Meredith

Readers? How would you navigate this?

COVID and Relationships Dating Distance

Featured Comment

If you can hang in there with the remote, outdoorsy get-togethers and you still like each other when it’s safe to get closer, you might find the patience pays off… Besides, the down side of not doing that is tragic, so…good luck.

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