They Just Want To Have Fun

Friday | November 4, 2016

Love Letters Dating

They Just Want To Have Fun

I’ll start off by saying I have a lot of female friends. Throughout the years I’ve had a few somewhat long-term relationships – nothing over a year long. Meanwhile, my friends are all settling down one by one. I have noticed that many of the women I try to date (the ones I manage to take out at least three times) eventually say they aren’t looking for a relationship but just want to keep “having fun.” I also want to note that I try to take these women on nice dates (dinner, drinks, rock climbing, etc.). I like “having fun,” but since I’m getting to be into my late 20s, I want to at least start moving toward a serious relationship that will eventually lead to marriage and children. What do you think it is that seems to be causing all these women to keep it casual? Is it me? Is it because I have a lot of female friends? Or am I just getting the luck of the draw of women who just aren’t looking for what I am?

– Ready for Love

Some of this is luck of the draw. It might also be your level of seriousness.

People looking for a forever kind of partner often radiate that desire. Sometimes that desire can scare off people who don’t know what they want.

But my guess is that it’s more about luck, and that many people in their mid-to-late 20s aren’t as sure about the idea of commitment. Assuming you’re meeting at least some of these people online, have you thought about broadening your search? The difference between 26 and 29 can be huge.

You could also consider using some of those hobbies to find a like-minded partner. I know a few couples that fell madly in love while rock climbing. It would be nice to meet someone who wants to have your kind of fun all of the time.

Whatever you do, don’t lose the female friends. They’re not the problem.

– Meredith

Readers? Why do girls just want to have fun? What about the female friends?

Dating

Featured Comment

It sounds to me like you are moving toward discussion of a serious relationship too soon. Slow down and focus on having fun and let it naturally develop into something more serious. Eventually you will find a woman that wants to spend more and more time with you doing things that you will both consider fun and the rest will take care of itself.

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