It's really difficult to date as a busy single dad

Thursday | March 5, 2026

Love Letters Dating

It’s really difficult to date as a busy single dad

Is there something on your mind about a relationship in your life? Or a relationship you wish you had in your life? Send your own question. Help others wondering the same thing. Use the form – or email [email protected].

As a 48-year-old male, separated since Covid and sharing custody of two great elementary kids, I am at a crossroad with mounting conditions – assuming more responsibility for my mom, who’s in her 80s, and constant work demands. I am a people person, yet isolated in Boston suburbia without the ability to just hop in any Uber.

I met someone last year while traveling, and for the first time it gave me flutters – it hasn’t progressed in a year from a random text or email, so its time I guess to move on, but I am daunted by online dating and don’t have the mental or physical energy to pursue it heavily.

I’d like to have a meaningful companionship for cuddles or grilled cheese but each time I try to work up the energy, health, work, or kids get in the way. Plus, I share a house with six others. And it probably doesn’t help that I’m a bit of music nut with a strong romantic streak.

As PSB sings, “Turn a corner, when you least expect it Love comes quickly, you can’t stop falling…” – Where’s my corner and how do I not screw it up?

– Sleepless with a Lynwood pizza

I love a Gen X (or elder millennial?) letter writer who quotes Pet Shop Boys. Thank you for that.

I wonder if you’ve told this travel crush you’d like to see them again. Can you attempt to make plans? Maybe that would get this person out of your head – or into your arms. It’s worth asking.

As for dating apps, you say you don’t have the energy to pursue them aggressively, so don’t. Swipe a little, message a few people who seem nice … but only give it a half-hour or less in one sitting. If you like a person after a few messages, meet them as soon as possible. No long-term correspondence.

A last thought: this is a difficult time for you to date. Maybe it’s not going to happen this second. If you need to focus on other things right now, don’t have too much fear of missing out. Surround yourself with music, friends, and the loved ones who need you. Sometimes we have to take a break from our search for romantic love. That doesn’t mean we won’t find it later.

I do recommend sharing your status on apps. As in, “I’ll respond as soon as I can. I’m caregiving for amazing kids and a wonderful parent, which makes it difficult to hop online, but I’ll get back to you soon.” Someone might think that is very sexy.

– Meredith

Readers? Is this just a bad time for the LW to date? How do you balance caregiving and a search for love?

Dating

Featured Comment

Sometimes people have so many responsibilities that it’s very difficult to find time for a relationship. Certainly there are women in the same situation. I think if you are upfront about your situation and what you’re looking for, it would make it easier to find someone compatible.

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