Ten years ago, I went into business with a friend of mine. Before we became friends, he expressed romantic interest in me. I wasn’t attracted to him but said I’d be open to a friendship, and he said he’d be interested in that.

A couple of years later is when we became business partners and co-founded a startup that we are still trying to make succeed. He’s invested in the business. Throughout this time, we’ve gotten to know each other really well. We spend day after day working together. We also travel together, not just for the business but for fun too.

Typically, we’ll do our own thing on the weekends – we spend so much time together that I really want to hang out with other people – but occasionally we’ll get together. He’s become a really good friend and I can talk to him about almost anything. He’s very generous and has helped me out financially. He’s been helpful in other ways too; I always feel like I can count on him and he can absolutely count on me.

Because we’re in business together, we’ve entered into a kind of marriage. However, I feel no romantic attraction toward him and I’ve never led him to believe otherwise. I think of him more like a cousin, brother, or family member. He’s an introvert, kind of a gamer type, and I don’t think he’s ever been in a romantic relationship. We never talk about anything related to dating or romance. I’ve dated off and on during these years but nothing ever turned into a relationship, and I haven’t spoken to him about my love life. I have no idea if he’s holding out hope that maybe I’ll be interested in him or if he’s just accepted that this will only be a friendship.

My worry is that if I do enter into a romantic relationship, I will lose the friendship with him. I don’t want it to change. How do I prevent losing the friendship and the closeness we have? Things have become very complicated because our lives are so intertwined. I feel that maybe I’ve avoided entering into romantic relationship because I’m afraid of my relationship with my friend/business partner changing in ways I wouldn’t want it to change, and that would crush me and it might crush him. I know this is a very co-dependent relationship but this is where I find myself. Your thoughts?

– Just Friends