Wait, wait, wait. 

“I don’t even find these guys attractive or my type, but I go out with them because they’re kind and the only ones who ask me out.”

So you’re not serious about them either.

They come to you for an experience after their last relationship, and go to them for experience with dating, in general. Sounds like an even trade.

I understand your frustration, but here’s the thing: I’m not sure it matters that these men are out of long relationships. Maybe they’re bringing that up to let you know they won’t be able to jump into something serious (which is healthy!). Maybe it’s their way of politely telling you they don’t want a second date (not a courageous way to do it, but possible). Or maybe they’re simply sharing details, and that’s OK.

Regardless, their long relationships don’t prohibit them from coupling up with the next person they meet. Many people break up with someone they’ve been with for years, and then find a “forever” kind of partner a few months later. They might not know it immediately, but it can be a slow burn.

Don’t rule out people who’ve had a recent breakup. For all you know they were done with their relationship a year before they left.

Another thing: you don’t want to be obsessed over. I am a huge fan of romance novels, but in my favorite stories no one’s making grand gestures at the start of a relationship. There’s courtship, but with a focus on getting to know someone.

You want to be someone’s dream girl, but to expect that immediately is … dishonest. Because these men are not your dream guys. Not yet. The first few dates are meant to be tentative, awkward, and all about gathering information. Give these experiences time so the connections can become something real.

– Meredith

Readers? Are four rebound dates a pattern? Or just some weird luck? Can a date after a breakup turn into something important?