My first thought: if you’re using three exclamation points in conversations on dating apps, drop to one. Or none.

This is a personal preference thing, but I think it’s shared by many.  If you start at three !!!’s, where is there to go when you actually say something exciting?

This gets to my next point: your app profile is important, so get better pictures. You’re showing people who you are. There’s no need for glamor shots, but people should be able to see you … and maybe some of what you like. I love when someone chooses a good photo of themselves on a scenic vacation, or at the concert of their favorite band. Then others know, “This guy is smiling – and has interests.”

My next thought is about “smitten”-ness. It seems almost impossible to get that feeling about someone through a screen. A person can look beautiful on an app, but when you show up to a date, they might be boring or not quite right for you.

I’ve never felt smitten from a picture. Not even a picture of a famous guy I’ve liked. I had to see them in a movie, hear them talk, and create a narrative. Really, you have to show up to get to three explanation points. If you see someone on an app who falls in the category of “meh” or “she looks nice,” swipe right and go on a date. 

Dive into these outings with the expectation that you might learn something. Meet people in unexpected places – it doesn’t have to be a bar.  

Also, find a cause and volunteer. I can’t pretend that volunteer work always leads to romance – it doesn’t – but it can put you in front of people who care about the same issues, and they might know people. It also gives you something to talk about when you do meet someone you like.

– Meredith

Readers? Is this LW being too judgmental about people’s profile pictures? Advice for dating as a single dad? When do you get smitten, and how quickly? Are we all on the same page about !!!?

Relationships can be confusing. What’s on your mind about your own connections? Send an anonymous question through the form – or email [email protected].