I’m not religious enough for her
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Q.
I’m divorced and met a wonderful woman who is also very much into me. We chat daily and tell each other we love each other. We click and can read other thoughts and finish each other sentences.
The problem is she’s very religious and won’t date me because of my (lack of) religion. I have told her multiple times I support her, and have even started exploring my spiritual side. I’m not 100 percent, but I do enjoy the community of it.
So I am in a weird situationship. Should I have a hard break and try to find someone new or hope that something changes that she will date me?
– Trying
A.
She’s telling you she won’t date you. That means you should find someone else.
If she were more open to being with you as you explore your spirituality, I’d say go for it. But it sounds like you have to hit a certain religious bar to be considered for romance.
Meanwhile, she’s happy to enjoy your attention and watch you invest time and energy.
I do wonder whether she’d be right for you, even if you went all in on religion and she decided you were worthy. All of this work seems to be about her – as opposed to your own process. You’re trying to match your experiences to someone else’s needs, and I don’t know that it’s working.
I can make a bunch of guesses about why she’s saying she loves you, but she’s not the main character here. This letter is about what you want, and it sounds like you have a strong desire for companionship. Other people can finish your sentences. She’s not the only person who can understand what makes you great. The goal is to meet women who love what you are right now.
— Meredith
Readers? Can one become religious enough for someone else … quickly?
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