I’m His First Girlfriend

Friday | May 26, 2017

Love Letters Dating

I’m His First Girlfriend

We’ll have updates for the Monday holiday. Have a good weekend.

My boyfriend and I are very happy together, but about a month ago a female friend of his made it very clear that she found him attractive and wanted to be with him. We had an argument about it, but got past it. I told him I didn’t expect him to cut ties with her because they’ve been friends for years and he’s close with her family.

However, a couple of days ago he confessed that she continues flirt and talk about her feelings for him. I am his first-ever girlfriend and he admitted that there have been times where he has been tempted by her offers because he feels like he is missing out on experiences. He was very upset and guilty at the time, so I didn’t get angry and told him it was OK, I understood. But I’m having a hard time being OK with it and feel awful. I hate her, I’ve had to stop myself multiple times from sending a very rude message to her. I’m just looking for advice on how to address this without being immature and starting a fight.

– Trying not to be angry

For now, you’ve done your part. You’ve been empathetic and open. You listened to his concerns without setting rules he’d want to break. You’re dealing with this as a team, which is great.

The real issue here, of course, is not his “friend,” it’s the comment about his lack of experience. If he removes this temptation, there will be others. Does he want to continue this relationship if it means missing out on everything else? How much can you trust the relationship if he has little to compare it to?

I’m not saying first relationships can’t last. I know some that have. For now, though, you don’t have any real answers about the future. All you can do is keep talking when necessary. Tell him you trust him to keep you in the loop.

– Meredith

Should there be a rule about his friend? Should the letter writer end the relationship now?

Dating

Featured Comment

He’s got FOMO. End the relationship because I suspect that you guys are very young. Let him sow his oats so later in life, he doesn’t still question his decision.

MMNNEE Share Thoughts