Are you happy with the state of your own life, outside of love? Do you like your home, job, friends, hair, and whatever else is all yours? That’s where you should shift your focus. People tell me they meet great partners when they’re happy with themselves. It doesn’t always work that way – and you can’t put off dating until you’re perfect – but it’s nice to feel content or excited about your life before you meet someone new.

Consider it self-care. You’ve focused so much of your energy on others. Now it’s time to revel in an evening by yourself, spend hours with a friend, do a craft, or whatever makes your uncoupled time feel better.

As soon as single time feels more natural, you can go on dates and see what’s what. I’m not convinced you’re bad at picking partners, by the way. It does sound like you’ve overlapped relationships and haven’t given yourself much time to figure out how to regroup. Some great relationships turn into bad ones, so they end. Your first relationship might have been as wonderful as you thought – in the beginning. It was a complicated breakup that involved a business, but it was an experience, and it doesn’t mean you chose wrong. Life is messy. You can’t predict everything.

Remember, there is no rush. You can take your time getting to know someone; it can be a slow burn. Try to escape your small world. Apps are great for this, actually. They remind us there are faces and places we’ve never seen.

– Meredith

Readers? Advice for getting better at picking partners? Is that the issue here?