I Want To Get Romantic On Holidays

Monday | April 11, 2016

Love Letters Dating

I Want To Get Romantic On Holidays

Hi Meredith,

I’m writing this letter because I want to discuss the celebration of romance. A little background on my long-distance relationship: My boyfriend and I have been official for about six months. (We met two years ago and dated for a while but took a break because of commitment issues.) We see each other for four consecutive days every three weeks. This year was our first official Valentine’s Day together. He was out of town during the holiday.

He rarely initiates phone calls with me, and sure enough, he sent me sweet texts wishing me a happy V-Day without calling. We didn’t make any make-up plans for the occasion over text. When we were able to see each other, we didn’t discuss the holiday or celebrating late. (I wanted to, but a very similar occasion had just passed, and I just didn’t want to be too forward every time there’s an occasion worthy celebrating.) I wanted to just let the entire V-Day celebration thing go, but I gave him the presents I had bought him for the holiday. He was really happy about the presents, but didn’t mention getting me anything in return.

I’m a very romantic person and expect some form of celebration of romance on holidays, in general. I understand how some people think it’s all commercialized and should not be a big deal, but I am not like that. I decided not to reveal my feelings to him because if I do, he’ll probably think I’m making a fuss over a commercialized holiday that has already passed and that he celebrated by wishing me a happy V-Day via text. And he might think that I just wanted him to buy me stuff to show he cares, which isn’t the case. Should I accept the way he does things and let go of the romance for whatever holiday comes next?

Disappointed

First thing to know: Some romantic people aren’t into romance on holidays. Before you decide that your relationship is lacking in that department, think about whether your boyfriend is romantic on a random Tuesday (or whenever you see him). Maybe you’re not giving him credit for how he behaves on the average day.

Second, if you want more attention on holidays, you have to make that clear before the day arrives. Ask him if he’d be open to an inexpensive gift swap. Talk about having a nice dinner. Make these decisions together so no one is surprised or underwhelmed when it’s time to celebrate.

Third, you must acknowledge the role of distance. Not everyone is a holiday person, but sometimes, when you’re long-distance, it’s nice to celebrate every occasion you can. Tell your boyfriend that when you enjoy a holiday together, it bridges the gap. And that’s what this is about, right? You just want to feel like you’re not so far away.

– Meredith

Readers? Is this about the distance? How can they compromise on holidays?

Dating

Featured Comment

Please talk with him and tell him that you expect more than a text on a romantic holiday. You broke up once because of commitment issues. It doesn’t take a lot of commitment to send flowers on Valentine’s day or on any day. You should think about whether this long distance relationship is fulfilling your need for a romantic partner.

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