I Initiate All Of The Contact

Wednesday | October 14, 2015

Love Letters Dating

I Initiate All Of The Contact

A guy I’ve been dating for a year now is distant and rarely calls anymore. He doesn’t make as much effort as he did in beginning. He doesn’t like to make plans like he used to, and wants to wait until the last minute, which does not work for me all the time.

We normally get together on the weekend and talk twice a week but I’ve been initiating all of the contact. It hurts because it seems he doesn’t care about me anymore.

He says he is stressed with his job … working late … and he always sounds busy. Should I stop calling him and wait for him to call or should I call him to tell him that this is not working and explain that if he can’t make plans and set aside some time for us, I don’t want to see him? I’m not going to see him only when it’s convenient for him.

We have fun when we’re together. I care about him and would like to continue to be with him. Should I call him to discuss or not?

– Should I call?

Call him and tell him exactly what you told us in your letter. “Hey [boyfriend], I get the sense that you don’t have much time for us anymore. I feel like it’s my responsibility to make sure we see each other, and I’m not happy with how one-sided this relationship has become. Do you want to be with me? If so, how can we make this work?” Something like that should start a discussion.

You win nothing by playing games, so there’s no point in giving him the silent treatment just to see if he steps it up. After a year together, you should be able to talk about what you need and whether you can make each other happy.

Readers? Should she confront him? Is it possible he’s just busy?

– Meredith

Dating

Featured Comment

u0022before you assume he is no longer interested. make he is not an introvert.nafter reading this letter, I felt she could be describing me. I am 43, still single, never had a girlfriend. I feel safer with a woman asking me out.u0022 – quantumdefender

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