“I really wish I could figure out how to stop developing feelings at all and stay numb.”

Well, that’s not the answer. Feelings, while complicated, are helpful. You don’t have to go from everything to nothing.

I do think you could benefit from talking to someone (a counselor, therapist, etc.) about having crushes vs. loves, contextualizing these feelings, etc. You’re not the only person out there with an active imagination. Many wonder “what if” about people in their lives, and then they let those feelings settle. And that’s a big question here. After taking the time to get to know someone, do you better understand how they fit into your life? Is part of this about figuring out whether they share your feelings of attraction? I’m wondering how much this is about a need for validation vs. romance.

I also wonder how often you do shoot your shot. Is all of this an internal monologue? Are you willing to share your feelings and let any of these relationships grow? Maybe it’s time.

Liking people is nice. Experimenting is fun and good. Treating yourself and others well is the most important thing. Sometimes it takes a while to learn how to do that.

Seek out some counseling because it’s nice to process this stuff out loud. If these crushes are stopping you from making and keeping friends, getting work done, and getting to know people on a deeper level, you do need to figure out what’s happening. But it is possible this is part of how you’re learning to love and understand yourself.

Take a deep breath and get some context.

– Meredith

Readers? Is this a phase of life at a certain age? Are you someone who thinks of everyone that way and wonders about potential?