I have a crush on a fellow teacher
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Q.
Started a new job in September (teacher at a private school). Met another teacher and have a crush on her. I really think we are a good match. We both teach science; like spending time doing stuff outside like hiking, camping, and running; both spend a lot of time with family, etc.
We had Spring Break off and I invited her and a couple of other colleagues to go camping and hiking. I mentioned it a while ago, she said she was interested, but when I formally put something together she backed out (so did the others afterward). I know there are unwritten rules about dating colleagues. Seems to be quite a few of my coworkers are in relationships with other coworkers. Should I bother asking her out for coffee? I thought if she was remotely interested in me, she’d be interested in the camping trip. Not sure what I should do.
I feel like I should also say that I know that the idea of always being together leads to a crush. But we don’t work together regularly. Same department, yes, but we each teach our separate classes, maybe pass each other in the halls now and again, and sit close enough to talk at the lunch table maybe once per week. I find myself hoping there’s a chair to sit near her so we can chat more…
Would love some advice!
– Hoping
A.
It doesn’t sound like it’s an issue to date a colleague at your school. Other people are doing it, and it’s not like she works for you.
The issue is the camping trip, I think. It confused everything.
You asked this woman to commit to hanging out with co-workers on her big week off from the job. You did the right thing by asking a group of people – so you could soft-launch the idea of a date later – but it was Spring Break. That’s the time for her to be away from everything related to school. She probably spent the week with family. I’m surprised she said yes to begin with.
If she reciprocates your crush, it would have been nice of her to counter your camping idea with a plan of her own, to keep the momentum going. But she might not understand your intentions, or her own, just yet.
My advice is to ask her to something smaller, maybe a walk outside or yes, a coffee. If she gets excited about another way to hang out, then it’s a re-start.
If she bails on that too, move along.
– Meredith
Readers? Was the issue a lack of interest or the fact that Spring Break is precious? Did the group dynamic of it all get confusing? What would be your next step?
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