Everyone has their own relationship with alcohol, and I get that. But I don’t think I’ve ever had drinks (plural) to “calm my nerves” with great results.

I used to try that sometimes, but it would always lead to more confusion, more drinks, or a weird sense of confidence I’d regret later.

These days, to clear my head, I take deep breaths, walk, listen to calming music, or call someone who makes me feel good about myself.

You say it’s “not the first time” this has happened. Maybe you meant you’ve been “sloppy drunk” with him before, or maybe you were talking about other times in your life, in general. Regardless, please try to stay in the moment in a way that makes you feel engaged – with clarity. If maintaining sobriety during stressful (or fun) situations seems overwhelming, consider talking to a mental health professional about it.

The thing is, maybe you weren’t flirting like crazy, and maybe your new boyfriend is someone who isn’t comfortable with your friendliness with others. If so, this won’t work, but you need to have the right lens to figure that out. It’s difficult to evaluate your compatibility if you can’t be a reliable narrator.

You say you don’t know how to face him. Just show up, having made that genuine apology, and maybe give one to his friends too. As in, “I’m sorry you saw me drunk last time. I was nervous to meet you, drank to calm my nerves, and have learned … that’s not the way to do it!” Hopefully they’ll get it – and there will be a reset.