I am 53 years old (that’s not the problem). I have been single for a few years after having a terrific relationship for three years. It was somewhat of a long-distance relationship – driving not flying. We were in love and got very close to joining families and getting married. But we each had kids and it became clear that they were obligated to stay where they were, and we were committed to staying in our towns.

We made a decision to split up because it was going to be years before the kids were out of school and we could live in one place. So for the past year I have been dating. I make it a point to date in my area, as I know the difficulties of distance. I have met some terrific women – smart, funny, cute, and kind. But each time I find myself with someone for a month or so, I begin the comparisons to my past relationship. I find that I am finding flaws, or perhaps inflating them to be larger than they are, because of the comparisons. Then I flake out and end things.

I met someone recently and we hit it off. Things are fun and good so far. So of course I am wondering when I will start to make the comparisons to a long-over relationship and start to undermine this one. I am mostly content in my life. I have never been the type of person who looks for imperfections in anything.

– Flaws