A.

This sounds reasonable. 

You’re not telling these guys they have to join you at a concert every Friday and Saturday night. The issue seems to be alone time. If these men pout when you want to go out with friends, that isn’t good. You want a significant other who says, “Go have an amazing time.”

It’s possible that you can meet the right person by doing what you love. Museums have events at night. There are singles groups focused on golf. Why not combine an activity you love with a hunt for new people?

Please know: I do think good relationships involve compromise, no matter what. Sometimes very active people want to be sloth-like for one weekend. And even with the right person, you’ll have to figure out the best shared activities.

Also think about expense, if it’s relevant. For some, concerts, museums, and sporting events are a ton of money – too much in one weekend. It can also be fun to find a beautiful public garden, or see a free screening of a movie on a summer weekend. I wonder if these suitors will perk up when the event doesn’t require tickets.

I do hope you’re capable of doing errands with someone, even if it happens rarely. I am happy to do basic to-do list activities with a romantic partner or friends. There is something wonderful about dealing with Costco, every so often, with another person who can bond with you over the most mundane things. After a bunch of exciting dates, it might be nice to let a good relationship grow by adding some routine activities to the itinerary. 

Some of life is about getting through a to-do list and then relaxing. I’m not sure you can avoid it forever.

– Meredith

Readers? Do you like to go out in a big way more than once a weekend? This letter writer says “most men want to do one thing at the most,” but is that true? Do you enjoy the Saturday Costco run? What do you think this letter writer should expect of dates over time?

What’s on your mind about finding friends, dealing with exes, dating, love, loss, complicated friendships, work crushes, etc.? Submit your letter by using the anonymous form, or email [email protected].