You’re already doing all the right stuff.

You’ve been honest and clear. You’re being brave and taking risks.

That’s my advice for now – to communicate well, try new experiences, and move at whatever pace feels right.

Actually, here’s an extra tip: consider the flip side of your fears. You’re worried about what could go wrong, but things could also go right.

I’m so creative about possible pitfalls and problems, but my brain dries up when I consider positive outcomes. But there are so many! In your case it’s possible that the toxic relationships of the past won’t have anything to do with the present. It’s also possible you’ll decide you don’t want to continue to date this person for random other reasons.

It’s also, also possible that you and this woman will have a wonderful friends-to-lovers slow burn, and that you’ll wind up taking vacations together and falling blissfully in love.

Who knows? 

If you have to play out scenarios, make sure some are good.

If you can avoid that step all together, focus on what you know, for sure. The words that seem to describe this moment are: excitement, anticipation, hope, and the two best ones from your letter – “kindness and care.”

Go have fun.