Dear Meredith,

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We love each other, have a great connection (physically and emotionally), have talked about the future and want the same things. We struggle with our schedules (I travel at least once a month, he works 12-14 hour days plus trains for marathons) but have weekly date nights and spend three to four nights a week together.

I’m writing because he keeps me completely separate from his life. In two years, he has only brought me around his friends a handful of times. His best friends are much younger than I am (I am 31, he is 27), and he has told me that he wants to distance himself from those friends and their partying ways – yet he continues to go out with them regularly. He has made other friends in the last six months – I haven’t met them either.

Because of our busy schedules I’ve asked that we that we try to talk at least once on days when we don’t see each other. I feel like I am always reaching out first and if I don’t, there’s a chance I won’t talk to him that day. I don’t expect us to be in touch 24/7 but find it frustrating that I don’t hear from him some days until late – when he wants to come over. I don’t think he’s cheating, but I also know that he’s not completely honest with me. I’ve caught him in lies (for example, saying he’s out with work friends, but actually out with his party friends) and he always has an excuse or explanation. Regardless, he either isn’t telling me the whole truth or he’s stretching it to cover what he’s doing.

I broke up with him a few weeks ago and he fought to get me back. We were great for a while, but are now backsliding. I still have not spent time with his friends, and his communication is not any better. I feel like a crazy person – insecure, emotional, stalking his social media and being accusatory – and I’m not like this. We’ve talked about everything several times and he says he is giving me what he can right now and knows he is stretched too thin. He just tells me that he knows what I need, it will get better, but he just needs time. Do I give him the time he wants, or is it time to cut my losses and walk away?

– Confused and Hurt