I wish you’d said more about why you know you don’t love him, because that’s the reason you should walk away from the relationship.

You’re just not that into him.

Loving someone is nice. Being loved is wonderful. When you love someone – even if you’re sick of them and they annoy you – it’s easier to care for them without thinking twice. 

At four months, you’re not feeling it. You’re also not developing the kind of relationship where you both say, “We’re practical, devoted life partners, even if the romance doesn’t come first.” You’re just … dating. There are no plans here.

I believe that what you’re telling yourself (and us) with all of this googling and worrying is: “I don’t feel connected to this man, and if our shared life gets complicated or difficult, I will resent being around him. I don’t want to get stuck.” 

It shouldn’t feel like getting stuck at all. If you’re not falling for him, go.  

What should you tell him? The real truth, which is that after four months, your feelings aren’t very strong, and that you both deserve relationships that involve a lot more love and care.

– Meredith

Readers? Is that the best truth to share? Is now the time to leave? Is it possible falling in love comes later? Thoughts on how you’d want to be told if you were him?

Relationships can be confusing. What’s on your mind about your own connections? Send an anonymous question through the form – or email [email protected].