Should I Call It Off Before She Gets Hurt?

Friday | May 20, 2016

Love Letters Dating

Should I Call It Off Before She Gets Hurt?

Hi Meredith,

I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago; the relationship was coming to an end anyway. I happened to meet my recently single high school sweetheart who was going through a rough patch with the loss of a parent. In short, we got intimate again. She is great and I like her but do not see a long-term relationship with her. At the same time, I have neither the time nor the inclination to pursue anyone else for the next few months as I am working on a business project that takes most of my time and energy.

We discussed the short-term situation and she is fine. However, I do not think she is being honest with herself and is looking for more, and that I will end up hurting her. If she were anyone else, I would not normally care. But I have known her and her family since high school (we are in our late 20s now). The last person I want to hurt is her. My choices are either to call it off now or let it continue and see what happens. The latter would work great for me and in the short term for her, but I am concerned it would cause her greater pain later. I may come across as a cad, but at least here I am trying to do the right thing. Any thoughts?

– Not Sure

Sounds like you should call it off. You had a nice conversation about keeping things casual at the start, but a few weeks in, you’re stressing about it again. Regardless of how she feels, is an easy relationship worth your time if it’s not so easy?

If you were on the fence about your future, I’d tell you to lighten up and get to know her again. But you’ve made your decision, right? The best-case scenario here that she’s not that into you either, and just wants your company for a little while. But that’s not a necessary experience, especially if you have a project to finish. Use your time wisely.

– Meredith

Readers? Should he leave this decision to her? Should he end it?

Dating

Featured Comment

Mixed feelings. A big part of me says call it off because it sort of feels like you are taking advantage of her. But then that smacks of paternalism. She said she is ok with things and you probably should take her at word instead Of assuming she doesn’t know her own mind.

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