I have been talking to this guy for about eight months now. We never made anything official because of his strict family; his mom and sister were always on his case and calling him. For context regarding culture and religion, he was born and raised in Egypt until he moved to the US as a teen. I’m Middle Eastern too so I can relate to his family, although my parents were not as strict with me as soon as I became a teen. Now I’m in my mid-20s.

This man recently lost his job and was dealing with a lot of depression, but then said he wanted a real relationship with me. I told him if he wants to be my boyfriend, he has to be able to do “boyfriend things” – and that includes being able to come out with me without having to work around his family. He needs a job and to set boundaries. He said he was miserable in his life, he started therapy, and was seriously looking for work. Then it all fell apart.

Everything was going really well – it seemed to be looking brighter – until we spent about six hours together one night and his family was upset. The next day I got a text from him saying that he wasn’t sure when he was going to be able to talk to me again, but would reach out ASAP. Then my number was blocked and his social accounts were deleted. I was freaking out and still haven’t even gotten a full story, but one of his friends saw him later that night. He said it looked like he had been crying, and that his he had a message for me – that his parents removed female contacts from his phone. This friend said he will talk to you as soon as he can, he’s thinking about you, asks that you give him time, about a month or two.

I have no idea what that timeline could mean, and that seems like such a weird promise. Neither I nor his friend know how serious the family situation was or what was said or done to push it this far. We don’t know if his parents gave him an ultimatum. I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I also thought he’d stand up for us. He told me the night before this happened that he didn’t care what his parents or family thought.

I was so sad, I was curled up and crying for three days straight. We used to talk all day, and now it’s so lonely and empty. Maybe it’s because I did not grow up with such strict parents or strict religious beliefs, but I just don’t understand how someone could allow all of that to get in the way of a relationship that they’re happy in. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he has nothing to his name if not for his parents – not even his car. Maybe that means he doesn’t have much choice in this matter.

I wish I could have a better explanation. I know that I will get one when he comes back, but I’m still so confused and sad about it all.

– A month or two