He’s Pushing Marriage

Wednesday | June 14, 2017

Love Letters Dating

He’s Pushing Marriage

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost four years now and sometimes I am not sure if he is the one for me. I was married to my ex for many years and we have children. I met my boyfriend after the divorce, and the relationship was great for me because we would only see each other every other weekend while my kids were with their dad. It was a nice escape.

Throughout my relationship, my boyfriend has always pushed things to the next level before I was ready. He moved in with us late last year – long before I was wanted him to – and now I am having even more doubts about us. (I have always had doubts.) Our discipline styles are very different and he seems easily annoyed by my kids. I just don’t know if he is the one for me and I refuse to marry again (he would like to) unless I feel like it is 100 percent right. Is this normal? Should I be in this relationship?

– Not right

You were at your happiest with this man when you only saw him every other weekend. It sounds like he was a great first relationship after the divorce – but then he wanted more.

My question is: Why did you give it to him? You didn’t want him to move in with you, but somehow, he lives there. Now you’re pushing back on marriage in a way that suggests it’s really on the table, even though it’s not what you want.

If you don’t feel like you have an equal say in your relationship – if there’s no room for compromise – you should end it now. That’s the biggest red flag here, all the talk about pushing.

Doubts are normal, by the way, but you shouldn’t have them all of the time. If you’re always uncomfortable and uncertain about your future with your boyfriend, you know the answer. You just have to tell him.

– Meredith

Readers? What do you think?

Family 🖤 Dating

Featured Comment

Don’t be passive. He didn’t just move in with you – you agreed to it. He pushes things to the next level, but again, he can’t do that without your cooperation. If you don’t learn how to express your concerns and needs, you’re going to end up married to a guy you are not sure about. Does that sound like the outcome you want?

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