Hey Meredith,

I’ve been dating a guy, Rob, since February. We met on OKCupid. We’re both 31, had serious relationships that took up a chunk of our 20s (four years for him, three years for me), and both entered this looking for something casual. The first six weeks or so did feel casual, but since then I have developed serious feelings for him. Rob is everything I want in a guy. We just click when we’re together, and we have the exact same sense of humor. He gets along great with my friends and ditto with his friends. The intimate part of the relationship is great as well. What’s the catch, you might ask? He’s not going to be in Boston much longer. You see, Rob is a consultant and his project ends next month. He is based out of “elsewhere,” where he is from, and says he sees himself raising a family there.

I’m a Boston gal through and through. I love my job here, I love having my family close, and I love my friends and the life I’ve created. Now, I would consider relocating for the right guy, but after six months I don’t think I’m ready to declare Rob that just yet. I wouldn’t even call him my boyfriend, just a guy I’m seeing. This is still the stage where we are getting to really know each other. We haven’t DTR because I haven’t felt a need to. We have talked some about what happens when he moves. His company is headquartered here, and although he is going to be assigned a new project, he says he will be back about twice a month or maybe more. But is that any way to truly develop a relationship?

We have both been casually seeing other people since we first started dating, which I believe is healthy, although I have found myself less interested in other guys. It seems like we’re on the same page in that department, though we don’t go into too much detail other than dating horror stories. I don’t want to tell him not to see other women when he lives elsewhere full time. Some of my friends say just to cut bait now because this appears that this is going to end badly. Other friends say just see where it goes. If we like each other and have fun together, there is no need to end it. I wonder though if that is wasting my time and setting us up for further heartbreak later. What should I do?

– Not Ready to DTR