A.

The fate of this relationship depends on her values.

Is she grateful? Does she understand she has privileges others don’t? Does she want to make her own decisions, even if her father doesn’t agree with them? Does she have empathy for people with less? Does she give back to the world?

If you can say “yes” to a bunch to those questions, this could be fine.

If you don’t know the answers, try asking. The two of you click, so I think it’s safe to get honest. As in, “Having a parent who can cover expenses … that’s so different from my life. What is that like for you? Is it ever complicated?”

Class is a big part of how we bond with a partner. It’s no surprise that the people I’ve loved most, in romance, have been come from a similar amount of money (or lack of it). They tend to have the same ideas about saving, spending, and excitement about what money can buy. 

But that doesn’t mean a person with more or less wouldn’t get it. In your case, you have to figure it out.

Again, if you’re really clicking in all other ways, you can explain the questions and talk about it. Try not to be mean about her accepting money from a parent who has it to give. Be curious, as opposed to judgmental.

Of course, if she actually calls it “Daddy’s money,” you’re allowed to break up with her yesterday. 

– Meredith

Readers? If you’re coupled, are you with someone whose financial background matches your own? Are you comfortable with in-laws paying for things? Is this letter writer jumping to judgement too quickly?

What’s on your mind about love and money, exes, dating, love, loss, complicated friendships, marriage, etc.? Submit your letter by using the anonymous form, or email loveletters boston.com.