Dear Meredith,

I’m a fan of your column and want to get input from you and your readers about my situation.

My boyfriend and I have been together for the past three years. He’s just finishing up grad school and applying for jobs, and I’m starting to get established in a career. Recently we had a discussion about moving. Because of the academic nature of his job, there’s an 80 percent chance he’ll move out of state.

While that’s fine for me, he doesn’t want me to move with him since the relationship might not work out (we’re still living apart in Boston) and might turn into a big messy breakup. Plus he tells me it would be like a “marriage proposal” if we were to move together. The only way he would let me move in is if he gets offers in Boston.

While I can understand his concerns, I’m pretty angry and hurt by this conversation. I’m more than happy to move with him despite the risks, and even if it doesn’t work out, I’d have friends who could help me out and I know it wouldn’t be the end of the world for me. In fact, when we had a conversation about a similar hypothetical situation (me moving for a job, would he follow?) he said that his career would come first and he probably wouldn’t move with me.

While I know your career can and should come first, I’m hurt by his words and beginning to doubt this relationship. Should I just wait until he gets offers or should I just freaking dump him and forget about this guy?

– A Pretty Pissed Writer