Meredith and Faithful Readers,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months. It doesn’t seem long, I know, but I fell for him hard and fast. He was the first guy who didn’t play games. He was open and honest about his feelings for me, and told me that he “saw a future with me.” He was kind and affectionate and did things for me because he wanted me to be happy. I’ve never had a relationship like this.

A little over a month ago, I noticed a change. He was slightly more distant, and our sex life was dwindling. Then it came to a dead stop. I tried talking to him about it. From what he said (which I later realize I misunderstood, or he failed to communicate) is that he had been in a rut and not feeling himself. So I tried to not put any pressure on him and looked for creative ways to help him out of his rut. But nothing changed and he became more distant.
Everything culminated in a very long and difficult discussion that led to me finding out that he had simply lost the spark. He found me attractive, wanted to be with me, and wanted to care for me, but romantically, there was nothing there. I couldn’t (and still can’t) understand this. I thought of some solutions that might work, but it felt hopeless. How do you make someone like you? And so we broke up.

I feel crushed and devastated. I feel like we didn’t try — we just both agreed that it was easier to break up. Is it possible to get that spark back when everything else was great? Has anyone heard/been through anything similar? Is there anything I can do to save this, I’m not ready to let go.

– Heart Broken, Boston