Dear Meredith,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. We live together and recently moved halfway across the country together for my job. We are planning to get married as soon as we have a handle on our student loans, as we each have two graduate degrees to pay off. We are both very open about the fact that we see a very long future together.

I feel like all of the “important stuff” is on the right track. We are both 100 percent open and honest about where we stand financially and how we handle money. We even have a five-year budget planned together. We are on the same page about the potential for children and all of the other typical deal-breakers in a relationship. We love spending time together, and I have never felt so connected to anyone else in my life.

My frustration comes from two things: the fact that he is a homebody who does not like change, and the fact that he can be very closed-minded. He has shared that change is scary for him, but he takes this to an extreme. While he was willing to move 1,200 miles away from his hometown with me, he regularly tells me how he hates it here while refusing to get out and explore. He does not even like trying new restaurants! I have always seen myself spending the rest of my life with a man who shared some interest in debating current events, discussing a good book, or even volunteering together. My boyfriend hates reading and hates going out to try new restaurants or bars. Additionally, he refuses to educate himself on current events but he still feels entitled to telling me that my beliefs are dumb and that I’m “too liberal.”

Am I asking for too much? I always worry that I’m comparing him to the image of the “ideal man” that I’ve always held on to.

– Bored in Love