A.

No ways are wrong – as long as everyone respects each other’s boundaries. 

It’s OK to wait to have sex. It’s OK not to. 

It’s also OK to end a relationship because you don’t share values with someone. If you can’t communicate well about sex, or you feel differently about the kind of relationship you seek, sometimes it’s best to say goodbye.

But let’s not go there yet.

My questions for you: 

Is there chemistry? Like, good kissing? Vibes, in general? Do you want to have sex with him because it seems like it might be good?

Have you explained to him what sex means to you? I do wonder whether he understands that sex is part of how you get to know someone (assuming that’s true for you). Sex can be many things, right? An act of love, a bit of fun, etc. But it’s also a way to become emotionally intimate with someone, as opposed to a reward for already achieving emotional intimacy with someone.

I don’t know if that’s how you feel about it. The point is that it would help to talk about what it means – and your expectations.

Try to remember, you’re both learning what you like and what works. Patience can help. But if you get to a place where it’s not going anywhere – where you’ve lost excitement for the experience – you can leave. Even if he’s nice.

– Meredith

Readers? Are they not a match? Should the LW have more patience? Are there some missing conversations here?

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