I am a single mom in my 40s, and I have been divorced for three years. During our marriage we went to couples counseling, and also I went to counseling on my own. The couples counselor thought my ex should try anger management classes, but my ex refused. We went through an ugly divorce but things are less ugly now, and we share custody of our child.

I have casually dated since the divorce, and about eight months ago I met a great guy. He is smart, sexy, funny, caring, generous, and we have great chemistry. I really couldn’t ask for a better friend/partner. He is also divorced, but his was a 20-year marriage. I love him and feel we have a unique connection, but the downside is I feel he is rushing into things. We decided to date exclusively after a couple of weeks. He told me he loved me within a month, and I told him that was crazy since he didn’t really know me. He invited me to a family wedding at three months. I declined, as I was not ready to meet his entire family. He says he wants us to get married some day, after living together, which would be in a couple of years based on logistics with kids. For now, he makes little references to what our lives will be like when we are married, where we will live, etc.

I know some people feel they “just know” when they have met “the one.” But my brain is telling me most guys don’t want to discuss marriage so early, especially when there is already divorce on both sides. I’ve talked to him about this and he thinks I’m just afraid to trust again. Maybe he is right? I say only time will tell. I only knew my ex for two years before we got married and I think we made a huge mistake not living together. I did not know who my ex really was. My close friends think my guy is great, and I really like his friends, too. Is early marriage talk a red flag, or am I being unfair to him based on my bad experience? Thanks, Meredith!

– Too Soon?