Hey Meredith,

I am 19 years old, have been in my relationship for a little over three years, and we live together. I never like to speak about my relationship problems with anyone, but months have passed and I would like someone else’s point of view about whether I’m overreacting. Months ago, I started snooping and finding countless messages my boyfriend was sending to different women. Some were old friends, some complete strangers. All of them involved him wanting to send and receive private pictures, and trying to meet up.

We would fight and he would swear that nothing happened in real life and that it was just him “being a man with temptation on the internet.” We both stopped using all social media until September where he just blatantly told me he was using Facebook again, and I can’t keep him off of that. The last time I snooped was in the spring, and the behavior had continued. Then we got into a fight and he said that it’s my fault that I go through his phone – that if I didn’t go through his phone, we would not have these problems.

To stop the cycle, I stopped snooping. I get the urge to do it but I tell myself to trust him. But I can’t help but feel like I am just ignoring a bigger problem. When I talk to him about it, he tells me I am being crazy. So now I don’t bring it up anymore … but I feel myself going crazy. I would like to know if I am overreacting and how I should handle this.

– Crazy?