I’ve been consistently sleeping with a guy I met on the online. He’s 25 and I’m 30.

We have a clear, mutual understanding that the relationship is casual (we met on Feeld, the dating app where people are actually honest about intentions).

Typically, he comes to my apartment, we stay up late talking, etc., and he spends the night. After our 10th or so encounter, I let him sleep in while I had to leave early in the morning, trusting him to wake up and leave on his own.

When I got home later that afternoon, I discovered he had done just that … and only that. He had left the bed unmade, our used dishes out, and some remnants of the night’s activities (if you catch my drift) still very much present.

I was kind of surprised! I felt like tidying was a known common decency in modern dating.

We are only five years apart, and most of the time, that age gap often feels small. But sometimes it can feel huge, especially when it comes to dating experience. I feel that he respects my opinions and would be receptive if I brought this up.

Should I gently tell him that it’s common courtesy to at least make the bed when you’re the last to leave it? Or am I expecting “relationship behavior” from this casual arrangement?

I genuinely care about him and want him to be successful in his future sleepover endeavors!

– Messy