Hi Meredith,

I am in my early 30s and have been with my current boyfriend for two years. He is a great guy, very patient, calm, caring, and a good listener. Like me, it takes him a while to open up, so our relationship matured over time. In the first few months of our relationship, I had a panic attack one night and instead of talking about it, I decided to end it over text (very immature of me, I know). He was surprised and confused but said he didn’t want to be selfish and ask me to stay in a relationship that would make me unhappy. A few days later, I called him apologizing and we got back together. However, I found out that during the time we were broken up, he slept with someone else. He admitted to it and told me it was just sex and that he would do anything to fix the situation so we could get back together.

I know that even though we were broken up and I have no right to ask questions, it really hurt me because I felt that he was almost waiting for something to go wrong so he could sleep with someone else. I know I am not perfect and that I made a mistake, but his behavior made me wonder what would happen if the relationship fell apart again for some reason, and how easily he would give up on me. We had multiple talks and he told me that he hadn’t hung out with her any other time except that one night.

Now we’re back together and trying to work on rebuilding our relationship. Fast forward to a week ago when I was going through some of his pictures and I saw that he had gone on a one-day camping trip with her and another couple a month before they had sex (while we were still together). This was news to me as he hadn’t told me anything about that when I had asked him previously. He insisted that nothing happened during that trip and that he would never cheat while he was in a relationship with me but he chose not to tell me because he didn’t want me to get any more upset that I already was. So here I am writing you this letter. I am at a point where as much as I want to believe him, I don’t understand why he wouldn’t tell me about her when I asked him in the first place. He seems very genuine and this is the only incident that makes me doubt him. What do I do? We have had many talks and he keeps denying that anything happened.

– Lost & Confused