‘I Haven’t Dated Since Before Mark Zuckerberg Was Born’

Thursday | June 29, 2017

Love Letters Dating

‘I Haven’t Dated Since Before Mark Zuckerberg Was Born’

We will chat next week.

Hi Meredith,

I am a 58-year-old woman who has been separated from my ex-husband for six years, and divorced for over a year. I am just now feeling confident enough to try out dating, but am not sure the best way to go about it.

For one thing, I hear men my age are looking for “fit, athletic, attractive” 40-year-old women. I like to play tennis and walk, but I’m not climbing Mt. Washington or going to Boot Camp on the weekends, and my 40s are definitely in the rear view mirror. And putting my life out there on Match.com or Tinderover50 or whatever these things are is so scary! I haven’t dated since before Mark Zuckerberg was born.

Any advice for an over 50 (nearly dare I say it – 60 year old – woman) to gain confidence to start dating, and how to go about doing it?

– Almost Ready

You’re not going to like this, but the easiest way to meet a lot of people at once is to get on those apps and websites. The great thing about them is that they’re all about speed. The men who only want to date 40-year-old marathon runners will ignore you, which means you won’t waste any time on them.

The other nice thing about these apps is that you won’t be putting your whole life out there. If you browse Match or any of the apps, I think you’ll find that the personal information is minimal. It’s usually just the basics. The apps keep it very simple.

My advice is to sit around with a friend one night and make a profile for just one app. Do this while eating very good takeout. Maybe enjoy a beverage. It’s much less scary to take this step when you’re sitting next to someone who can laugh with you about the whole experience. If you don’t have that kind of friend, focus on finding one, because the most important part of the dating process is having someone to talk to about it.

Also know that almost everyone shares your questions about dating. Every day, there are new people on those apps who have no idea how they work. Every minute, someone is swiping or clicking on a profile for the first time. You’re not alone in this; everyone is going through the nervousness together.

– Meredith

Readers? Apps? Sites? Once she gets on them, what should she expect? Any tips?

Dating

Featured Comment

Being a few short of 50, and having done the internet dating thing, I can tell you this much. It STINKS! I am more of a ‘talk on the phone’ or ‘talk face to face’ person than I am texting and messaging back and forth. A friend of mine suggested Meetup groups with people that have similar interests or activities. I personally think I am going that route right now. I wish you the very best of luck!

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