He Hasn’t Made An Effort

Friday | September 2, 2016

Love Letters Dating

He Hasn’t Made An Effort

We’ll do a short letter today before the holiday. Enjoy the Monday off.

I recently met a guy on Tinder. I like him, but he hasn’t made a real effort. He said he was busy and rescheduled the first time we were supposed to meet. Then I had to initiate the second first date. We went on the date, he asked me for a another movie date, but never set a time or made a plan.

I invited him to my birthday with friends a week later and he came empty handed and didn’t contribute. He has been texting me ever since. My gut feeling is not good, but he is asking me out again. My friends told me that he is cheap and that I should stop seeing him. He seemed fine on first date and picked up the check and everything, but I don’t understand. Should I tell him we shouldn’t see each other anymore?

– Unsure

I’m less concerned with him picking up the check than I am about him showing up for dates in the first place. He hasn’t been great about initiating plans and following through. Follow-through is essential, especially at the start of a relationship.

Get back on Tinder and see what else is out there. At the very least, you should be seeing other people.

– Meredith

Readers? Another date? Should he have contributed to the birthday celebration?

Dating Tinder

Featured Comment

If you pay attention to his actions instead of his words you’ll see that he’s not very interested in you. The alternate explanation is that he’s incapable of making concrete plans. Trust your instincts and don’t go on any more dates with him. In future if someone breaks the first date, don’t bother scheduling a second first date. Also don’t invite someone to an important event if you’ve only been on one date.

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