Please know: dating apps/sites are stacked against everyone, not just men.

These platforms make our worlds so much bigger – but also more confusing. The great potential of choice is balanced by a bunch of “u up?” messages from random people who never intend to appear in person.

Believe that most women have plenty of stories like yours. That’s why they shouldn’t ghost you! But some people just don’t know how to say thank you and goodbye. Forgive them.

My advice:

1. Try new apps. You haven’t seen everybody yet. Also, widen the search to an hour and 15 minute drive from your home. That’s a lot of miles, but … why not see what it brings?

2. Have a woman in your life look at your profile – and your messages to these women. A friend/family member might have tips, especially when it comes to communication. I do wish letters like this were sent with a screenshot of a profile. I’m not a profile making expert, but I could (and would) tell you what I’d assume of you based on what you chose to share online. Actually, if you’re open to it, send me these screenshots. I want to see what’s what.

3. For second dates, suggest meeting in the middle. No need to be the driver every time.

4. Know that yes, it is a numbers game – and a frustrating one. But thank goodness most people don’t want three dates – or even a first – especially if you intend to pay.

5. That brings me to my final point: dates can be cheap. There are walks in the park, weird flavors of hot cocoa to try at a coffee shop, libraries to explore, and ice cream – non-dairy, if you need it. A walk-and-talk date, while doing something simple, can be more fun than a dinner where you’re just staring at each other. Sometimes the free dates are the ones that help people click.