He Gave Someone Else A Virtual Kiss

Wednesday | September 27, 2017

Love Letters Dating

He Gave Someone Else A Virtual Kiss

Meredith,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost nine months, and during that time he’s become close with my best friend of many years. He talks to her a lot, sometimes through a virtual role-playing game, but he gave me his Skype account password because he told me he has nothing to hide.

Recently, though, he was trying to calm my best friend down after she went through a breakup, and while he was talking to her, he “kissed” her in that virtual role-playing game. I saw this and felt betrayed and hurt, even though it didn’t happen in real life.

Since then, I feel like I can’t trust him as much. It didn’t help that he’s made another new friend, someone he calls a “little sister,” and it’s clear he has feelings for her. I’ve seen him flirt – recently I watched him hug her shoulder with his hand drifting to her side (he told me that this happened because he relaxed, and his arms became limp).

He hasn’t actually done anything wrong, so I’m wondering if I am right to be upset. My feelings are jumbled. What should I do?

– Jumbled

Some people write into Love Letters even though they already know the answer to their questions. They want validation from all of us because they don’t trust their guts.

Sometimes their guts are screaming at them, and the messages are clear: “Break up!” “Stay together!” “Delete Tinder because it’s making you super annoyed and exhausted all of the time!” “It’s weird that your boyfriend is kissing other women in virtual role-playing games!” (You get the point.)

Your gut is hollering at you, so I’m going to ask you to trust it. If this relationship is turning you into a person you don’t like, you can end it. Even if he isn’t doing anything wrong – and this is all about your issues with commitment and jealousy – you need time alone to figure it out. You can’t make sense of any of this until you can focus on yourself (as opposed to his Skype account).

You’re not as jumbled as you think. All you have to do is walk away.

– Meredith

Readers? What do you think?

Dating Cheating